Phantom Lake Menace

I am facing a bit of a dilemma, bloggers, regarding this book that I see listed on Abebooks this week:
A small Phantom Lake in fairly poor condition ie a bit knackered around the edges. It is priced fairly reasonably, at around £11 including postage, but is it really good enough for the collection? I am stuck between buying it and plugging a gap, or waiting for a nicer copy to come along, who knows when that may be. I think the fact that I didn't buy it immediately means that in all likelihood my decision has been taken, so if you are in need of a small Phantom Lake, why not check out Abebooks and see if it's still there.

On the subject of small Phantom Lakes, I see that the Amazon copy at £28 has been sold, I suspect that Hugh may now have a complete small hardback collection, if so, let us know about it, Hugh.

Carry On Screaming Clock

If my local chippie is frying tonight, I'll nip out for a fish supper and settle down with a bottle of buckie and read this cute little number:
An absolutely super small Screaming Clock, at the completely bargain price of £2.50 including postage! Possibly my best buy yet. Clean, tight and just about perfect. One of the best Robert Arthur stories, this, and imagine my surprise when the villain was none other than Hugenay! That cheeky bastard was up to his neck in more fine art thievery, I wonder what his day job is?

The Incredible Shrinking House

This is the last of the three books from the same seller. Incredible doesn't do justice, folks. Same condition or better than the other two, including price sticker.Lovely biscuits. Of course, this is an upgrade for me, and means that I can get rid of my other large Shrinking House that is covered with dire biblical epithets. If anyone wants it, let me know, I can't imagine getting anything for it on ebay.

The cover for this book is famous for bearing no relation whatsoever to the book's narrative. It is a cracker, though, eh? It's good to see Jupiter wearing his standard fat guy shirt, but where in the name of fuck did Bob get that waistcoat? Honestly I know he's a bit short sighted but surely he's not completely blind. You would think that someone would have had a word with him.

Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot The Works

Unless she's German, in which case she is out of luck as this title was not released there. Never mind they have hundreds of other titles that we never got to see.
Another as-new book that has been spoiled somewhat by the disgraceful polythene bag packing used by an ebay dealer. Still, never mind, eh? It's better that the copy I had, ie none.

Be The Singing Serpent Under it

My fellow innocent flowers, don't be put off by the terribly scary picture on the cover of this book. I know that the boys look scared shitless; you'd think by now they would realise that The Three Investigators stories all follow strict Scooby Doo plot principles. This is of course the latest large hardback to grace my collection:
From the same collection as my large Flaming Footprints, see below. I remember reading this book as a lad, back when the small hardback was published ie in 1975. My thoughts were not "what a nectar opening to a book", but "what the fuck is an Appaloosa?" This also had a female character in it, I mite hav known it was written by MV Carey. Yah boo sucks.

The quality of this copy is as good as you could ever expect. As with the Flaming Footprints, it is clean, tight and features the gold Collins sticker. I will not be able to upgrade this one.

That Talking Skull Had A Tongue In It

And could sing once, but all it really did was mutter to Jupiter in his bedroom at night. Yes, folks, this is of course my fab large Talking Skull, freshly through my letterbox from an ebay dealer.
Really nice condition this one, suffering only from the removal of the original price sticker from the front board. This is a frequent fault with these books, as the gold Collins stickers were quite sticky and sometimes the boards could be worn when they were peeled off, using thumbnails etc. This has a great spine with vibrant colours on it, and looks great on the shelf. I love the cover art to this one, the scene of the boys discovering the skull in the old chest is used on all of the UK edition covers, none as well realised as this original (or at least based on the original).

To Flaming Footprints Let Virtue Be As Wax

Shakespeare may have been good, however I'll wager he never wrote anything as good as this little nugget:Of course, bloggers, it's my new large Flaming Footprints, just in from an ebay dealer who had a slew of nectar books listed. The quality of this, and indeed the other titles I was lucky enough to win, is absolutely top drawer. Very clean, shiny boards, clean pages without foxing or stains, it even has the gold Collins price sticker for crying out loud! I had to pay for them, mind, quality like this does not come cheap. How's £26 plus postage sound? I know, I know, fuck sake dotch are you made of money, etc etc, but have a look, bloggers - how often do you see quality like this? After beezer, topper, corker, dillion, nectar, etc etc, I run out of superlatives to describe it.

Fatal Error Attraction

I had a fatal attraction to this book, bloggers, and rightly so, as you can see it is as new and unread.What really hacked me off* though was that it was delivered, as many Abebooks and Amazon bought books frequently are, in a polythene bag with absolutely no attempt to protect the book whatsoever. This fact, coupled with the fact that the seller had stuffed his invoice inside the book, and in the process had bent back the rear cover causing an unnecessary crease, meant that the book is no longer in the pristine condition that it clearly was in before the seller mailed it to me.

Fuck sake, this seller is my flaming arse of the week.

*excellent topical reference

Flaming Arse

Let's do a quick experiment, bloggers. Have a look at this book and think what word springs to mind to best describe it. Pay particular attention to the white paint all over the top of the spine.I wonder what word you chose? Shite? Pish? Fucking rubbish? All of the above? Whatever you decided on, I would bet that it wasn't "Good". But amazingly that's the word the seller of the book used to describe it to me. To be fair to him, he refunded my money, but what a waste of time and effort on everyone's part.

The guy is my flaming arse of the week.